How about you calming down before you act the way you feel like. It may not look like the easiest or most appealing thing to do but it sure saves you and everyone else a lot of stress, guilt and broken relationships ultimately. How do I respond properly when the pressure is mounting high? Hubby won’t wash his dish after a meal I single-handedly cooked despite having a stressful day at work because my boss was fuming over a big project that was not just going as planned, none of which is my fault. My two toddlers will not stop peeing everywhere else in the house but in the toilet bowl and I have just 30mins to get ready to drop them off at the baby sitter’s house before I head out for my evening classes in school. To make matters worse, I just got a mail from work that needs urgent attention and it is regarding the project that has being making my boss act nasty lately.
Do you think I have the right to lose it considering all that is going on around me? You must be an Angel to feel otherwise sweetie (smiles). As much as I am naturally expected to lose it, not allowing myself lose it is a better option because it saves quite a lot or relationships that really matter to me, talking about my marriage, my children, my studies and my job (of course I need to keep my job to ensure my pay check is not affected in anyway).
Just like the picture of a full -time working mother and wife painted above, we all experience that moment of not wanting to take a deep pause before reacting to a situation and this makes us unable to think or properly consider what would be the best thing to do in such circumstance. The best thing I have learnt this year is this one thing ….”Pause, think, and pray it through before you finally lose it or react”. I probably just made it sound easier than it truly is because the process for me personally was quite uneasy considering that I had to deal with this in a new field of experience, though it is a field I have always dreamt and trained to actively play in. There were times I almost busted into saying things like ” Are you not seeing clearly that you are breaking instead of building lives? ” But my decision to “pause, think and pray” about it always stopped me from doing so and I realized things actually got fixed afterwards and no one, including myself had to suffer perpetual hurt.
No one is above those moments of high or intense pressure, stress and emotional break down but what I would love too make clear in this write-up is the need to rise above the danger of blowing up and having to regret every bit of reaction or words that follows ( though we can choose to “macho up” and act like it does not really matter- meanwhile deep down, we know we fumbled even if we fail to admit it ). The truth is we sometimes mess up so bad at such times that the relationships our actions affect never recover from that moment of uncontrollable outburst of anger or unnecesary and unguarded reaction.
In my experience , particularly when it comes to working with professionals on the same field in what I call “My dream fulfillment walk”, I realized people do things for several reasons unknown to others and if others care to find out why such people do some things, they will realize they simply did the best thing they thought right to do at the time. This has taught me to look beyond the “doings” of others and to look at the “why” instead. This speaks volume about the need for the fruit of the spirit for those of us who are believers, particularly self-control . The truth is – you may not be right as well after all.
Let me drop this before I conclude. The pause, think and pray strategy is Biblical and it works as a result.
PAUSE: before you react, breath in and out, walk away if necessary , just find a way to cool off because the enemy of our soul understands very well what it means to catch you unawares. It gives him the right to accuse us before our Heavenly Father and at such times he is quick to say …”Can you see how she just lost it?” Or “He is of course not fit to represent your interest with this kind of unruly attitude”.
Revelation 12:10
THINK: the problem with quite a lot of us is the inability to give time to thinking about the end result of the decisions we make before we go ahead with such. It is even worse off in a generation that no longer needs to know their multiplication table off hand as a result of the availability of calculators, and other gadgets that saves us the stress. There is a need to learn from Jesus however. He was careful not to just give a response even when a sinner caught in the act of adultery was brought before a Him. He chose to keep quiet instead, so much the accusers kept asking Him to respond, which He did at His own convinient time, knowing fully well their intention was not right.
Proverbs 13:16, John 8:1-11
PRAY: it is sad to know that quite a lot of people think prayer is like a ritual that has to be done in a particular way, at a specific place( s) , and that it only works for just the serious issues of life and not somethings we consider mushy or petty. The truth however is that God is interested in everything and anything that has to do with us, no matter how petty they seem to us or others. This is one weapon the enemy of our souls does not want us to use when the pressure is high because He knows the moment we result to that, he has lost the battle already. Why not throw your joker in when you are about to finally lose it? It makes the devil a loser, while you become the winner.
Philppians 4:6
The world is hurting and a lot of people are under so much pressure and the last thing they need is an explosive individual. A lot of people will rather make use of more empathy in this trying times across the globe. Think about this the next time you feel like losing it and try to be the one who saves the day.
Author Profile
- Temitope is the founder of thesoulmeal.com, an online platform that she shares with her God-given spiritual family and friends. She is a speaker, teacher and youth counselor. She is passionate about inspiring people to find their identity in Christ. Catch her interviewing inspiring leaders on Tongue of the Learned Podcast
Latest Posts
Growing In ChristMay 10, 2021Pay Attention To This Season
FaithJanuary 26, 2021His Word, My Hope.
FaithJanuary 14, 2021Caught In The Web Of The Devil’s Lie?
FaithJanuary 5, 2021Look Beyond The Package