I Found My First Love

Learning for me has always been fun. I always wanted to ask questions, to experience things for myself, to explore and understand “the why” behind so many things as I definitely didn’t understand this whole religion of a thing. 
Questions like “why did we have to go through the routine of going to church every Sunday and believing hook, line, and sinker everything that was being said?” Mummy said we couldn’t question the Pastor let alone questioning God, she also said we had to cover our hair tightly under a scarf, act soberly and close our eyes whenever we want to ask the Big Guy up there in the sky for anything or risk disrespecting Him and provoking His anger. So this meant that even when I wanted to jump and laugh out loud, I couldn’t. If I was too bubbly, the Big Guy might get upset with me. We also couldn’t say no to men of God. 

Why do we have to bring a gift for the Big Guy every Sunday, which always leaves me without my Sunday biscuits and I didn’t like that. If this God was truly so big as described, then why did He need our money. If He supposedly had angels as claimed who could fly wide and make good music then why did I need to sing to Him at the top of my voice, or even shout out loud whenever I had to speak with Him? May be His ears are not as big compared to His body, just maybe. 

Anyway, If this God was so loving why would He punish me for every little mistake I made? The other  Sunday, Aunty Faith (the children class teacher) said to me that “God would punish me if I came to church late”. My eyes widened thinking I could be one minute away from hellfire if I didn’t get to Church in time. 

I really didn’t understand all of these assertions and I didn’t have the option of questioning the Big Guy up there for fear of being tagged a child of the devil, “Omo esu”. However, truth be told I didn’t like Jesus or God either because I felt He was a vindictive leader and not as passionate as a father ought to be. My dad loved me and forgave my mistakes and flaws, but not Big Guy up there. He was always waiting for the right time to punish me. I also didn’t like this Big Guy because He has never even tried to wrap me in His arms to hug me before. I definitely knew who was and wasn’t my father. 

If you ever have the opportunity to get into the mind of a child, you would be so amazed at what you would find. Has a child ever walked up to you and asked, “if God created the earth then who created God?” Well if you haven’t experienced that before, then please be prepared to be dumbfounded. It is really important to exemplify and simplify to our younger ones what it means to be loved by our God. 

They have not experienced what you’ve experienced and therefore because you know and understand this love doesn’t mean they automatically can and will see it the same way you do. 

I like to think of myself as the exception to the rule. God was and is still so intentional about his children. It took strangers who God placed on my path during my formative years to answer all of these questions. No matter how dumb I looked, I was allowed to ask any question. I could question beliefs. I could ask why God made the day so bright and the night so dark and not the other way round. I could ask just any question and gradually I began to truly see and experience the Big Guy by myself and for myself. 

It wasn’t a third party arrangement for me, the turning point was when I realized that I didn’t mind not having my biscuit as long as the Big Guy was honored. I knew truly that my start into this beautiful journey with Christ had just begun and I had found my first love, finally. This may seem so negligible an experience for some people but then, it was so significant for me. However, not many people are this lucky and that is why many children who grew up in the Church still cannot be said to have known Christ or even met with Him. 

Dear parents, you are the first agent of Kingdom orientation and socialization your child encounters. Your words, relationships, and teachings are definitely instrumental in how your child turns out. 
God isn’t wicked, He isn’t mean and not hurtful. However, does your child know this? Does your child know he/she can share their emotions with God? Does your child know he/she can ask God questions? More importantly, does your child know he/she can ask you questions about God. If you tell your child to close his/her eyes while praying, are you open enough to allow them to ask you why? Would you be able to tell them that fellowship with God is so beautiful that when you are in His presence, you do not want to leave. 

Does your child know that when they cry, God’s heart is broken and that He can wrap His ever stretched arms around him/her in a big hug? Does your child know that worshipping and giving is an act of love and honor and that we should love the Big Guy up there because He loved us first. 

If your child doesn’t know this, they haven’t found their first love. And trust me, they really need to. Go ahead and be their discipler.