JOHN 7:24
“Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment”
You probably are not affected by what I am about to talk about. If you however discover you are culpable, don’t worry because from my findings there are quite a number of people who are in the same shoes as you, myself inclusive( I am not proud of this though- Smiles!)
I met this guy sometimes ago and I was full of smiles and all out to be friendly as I welcomed him at a gathering. To my surprise, as I smiled and said all I could to make him feel welcome and comfortable, all he did was raise one hand up and walk away. I almost fainted.
Sincerely speaking, I thought I had done something wrong or that he was probably just full of himself. My conclusion at the end was that he was full of himself and so I made up my mind I was just going to say a simple “Hi” the next time I meet him to avoid any form of embarrassment the second time.
The next time I saw him, it was actually from a distance and I was so glad about this, because that way I would not have to do what I know is not right in God’s sight , which is to react based on the way he responded to me previously.
How wrong I was to think that I had escaped this person and that my plan not to cross his path was successful. As I sat quietly some weeks after, trying to study for the week, this young man calls out to me( not by my name though…) and pulled a chair out and sat right in front of me.
At this point, I am thinking in my head ” Did the Holy Spirit tell him how much his rude response hurt me the last time?” Don’t be quick to say that is what it was , because it was actually far from that. This young man who later became a very good friend of mine after just 30 minutes of having a really hilarious conversation together was asking me to be his Tutor in a subject. Obviously, he was unaware of how hurt I felt by his response the first time we met, neither did he know that I had plans to avoid him from that moment so I do not feel offended or embarrassed by him the next time our paths crossed.
JAMES 1:19
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
The gist in simple terms is …. As he talked to me, I realized from the way he spoke that he did not understand all that I said the first day we met, because he does not speak English as much. Within few minutes, he was so relaxed and friendly that he told me so much about himself and how he has being trying to better himself in English language for a couple of weeks, which happened to be the same period I met him and felt bad about his response with one hand up and not even a word.
How sad it is that we are usually too quick to judge a person or an attitude, not knowing where the person is coming from or the reason for such attitude. A lot of times, we loss potential relationships that will benefit us and the other person, as a result of our unguarded and inaccurate conclusions.
The funny thing about this write up is that I had wanted to write sometime on this issue for like a month now, but I could not get the right words, so I kept writing and deleting my lines, but when this incident happened, my fingers were quick to type on my Computer. He was God’s channel of motivation for me to come up with this write-up and I am glad he did what he did the first time I met him, even though it hurt then.
When we see people act in a way, instead of concluding that they do not like, respect, or value our presence, we should always ask ourselves the question ” What if it is not exactly as it seems?” I am not trying to make excuse for people’s wrong attitude or arrogance, considering that I personally do not appreciate arrogance as a character trait.
Rather, I am simply stating the fact that not everyone means any harm when they act in a way that hurts the other person. It might be that they just do not understand what you are saying or they simply have their minds miles away from where they are standing and looking at you and probably smiling back at you, or they simply see you as the least of their worries or cares at that point in time, considering that they have issues so big they are drowning in it.
Trying as much as you can to make excuses for people will help you live life free from hurts and unnecessary decisions that will not just affect your countenance, but also hinder you from being in right standing with God. Is anyone actually worth you losing connection with God? I guess not.
I remember something really close to this happened to me sometimes ago and it was not just me this time around, I was actually standing with one other lady when someone walked past us and we greeted her sweetly and got no response from her. The other lady that was standing next to me said ” Hey Sis, we just greeted you ” and the lady in question simply looked at her and said ” Thanks,” and walked away. I could not stop laughing because to me it was quite funny, considering that she had never acted that way before in my presence, but the other lady did not see it as funny, she saw it as rude and unacceptable.
We decided to follow up on the reason for such an attitude from our beautiful lady in question and found out that her reaction was a function of what she was going through at the time. Whatever it was actually seemed so bad that I told myself it will take grace for me not to act the same way if I were in her shoes. Always try to make excuses for people in your heart, so that you do not feel hurt by their action or inaction , considering that it could just be anything that caused them to act the way that hurt you.
As I speak, this same lady that was perceived as rude in her response is such a sweetheart I cannot thank enough for her love and support towards me, even when nobody else cares about the little details of my life, she does and I tell myself ” I could have lost such a wonderful relationship due to unreasonable conclusions and being too quick to judge.”
The truth however is that some people are naturally of bad character and they tend to always offend others as a result of their attitude. Christ gave us a way out of holding on to the hurt such people cause us by admonishing us to forgive if we want to be forgiven also.
MATTHEW 6:14-15
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
The next time someone gives you an attitude, try and make excuses for such a person and not conclude too quickly how rude, arrogant or ill mannered the person is. You may end up losing a divinely ordained relationship as a result of such conclusions.
Author Profile
- Temitope is the founder of thesoulmeal.com, an online platform that she shares with her God-given spiritual family and friends. She is a speaker, teacher and youth counselor. She is passionate about inspiring people to find their identity in Christ. Catch her interviewing inspiring leaders on Tongue of the Learned Podcast
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