A long time ago, a beautiful, attractive, and innocent girl found herself in an heartbreaking, shameful and unpleasant situation that would later make her life a story and lesson for many generations yet to be born.
She was a Princess raised in the four walls of a Palace known for class, beauty and luxury, yet right inside her own father’s magnificent Palace, she was stripped off her dignity and pride.
The most painful part of her horrific experience is in the fact that she trusted him so much. She never expected such a thing from him, considering that he was such a sweet, adorable and well behaved big brother. How wrong she was !
Unknown to her, he had just received the wrong counsel from his friend, so he was not the same lovely boy that lived in the Palace of the great King of the land of Israel. At the time he carefully planned to make her a prey, he had lost his mind and cared less about the consequences of his actions. He was a danger to be avoided like a plague, yet she fell into his trap.
All she did on this fateful day was to show love and care to her Father’s son- her half brother, who had claimed to be ill and needed the help of his sister. Did she do wrong to care for her own brother? Maybe she would have being careful if he were to be someone else, she probably would have cared less about him if he was not her blood brother, but the truth is- He is her father’s son, which gave her no reason to doubt his motive at such a crucial time.
Tamar was wrong, she was deceived and led into a master minded trap of sexual assault by her own brother. Broken and ashamed, she walked away as she heard him curse her and add more hurt to her already broken heart. She was lost and confused , yet it seemed like a dream she needed to wake up from….Only that it was not a dream, it was real! 2 SAMUEL 13
The result of the mistake made by Amnon( Tamar’s half brother that rapped her ) did not only lead to his own death, but the death of other people as well, including the avenger – Absalom. The question is “Did that restore Tamar’s dignity?” “Did it make her feel better?” Did it undo the deed that had been done?” The answer is “NO!”
HEBREWS 12:15
“Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.”
Tamar’s brother made sure Amnon paid for his wrong doing, but his act of revenge only caused more damage than good. God’s Word is clear on the issue of revenge and this gives us as humans no justifiable reason to try and get back at people who hurt us.
ROMANS 12:19 (NKJV)
“Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.”
Amnon stripped Tamar off her dignity as a Princess whose robe, prior to this time was such that distinguished her from her peers, considering that she had kept herself from every form of immorality. Sadly, she had to become like “the others”, all because of someone’s mischievous act.
Maybe she would have felt better if he had admitted his wrong and apologized. She would have found it easier to forgive him and herself also, if their Father – King David had punished Amnon for doing such a terrible thing to his sister, but none of this happened .
She felt being a woman was a curse, a limitation, a night mare and a sad thing. Yet, all these are contrary to what God’s Word says.
ISAIAH 43:4 ( NKJV)
“Since you were precious in My sight,
You have been honored,
And I have loved you…..”
A lot of people have had to deal with the issue of forgiveness as a result of how bad someone hurt them in the past. Sadly, it is usually more difficult to forgive someone you least expect an act of cruelty or disrespect from. Like many of us, this was the state Tamar found herself , yet there was nothing she could do to help herself.
In Christ alone is the strength we need to overcome the hurt, pain, guilt and shame that comes from any form of abuse ( Sexual, Mental, Physical, Verbal, Social, Financial, Etc.). This is a process that involves studying God’s Word to discover more about forgiveness and its benefits, how God see us and the Abuser, Praying wholeheartedly and allowing the Holy Spirit to heal us and also use such past or present hurt as a channel of healing to others.
God cares about you, despite all that makes you feel unworthy, unqualified, defiled and shattered. You have to embrace this truth and see yourself the way He sees you, and not as your past defines you. You are not what has happened to you, or what you have been through, You are who God says you are in Christ Jesus…..
1 PETER 2:9 (NKJV)
“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”
Author Profile
- Temitope is the founder of thesoulmeal.com, an online platform that she shares with her God-given spiritual family and friends. She is a speaker, teacher and youth counselor. She is passionate about inspiring people to find their identity in Christ. Catch her interviewing inspiring leaders on Tongue of the Learned Podcast
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